


behind these closed doors

by bobaisbest



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Exes, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Post-Break Up, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27945797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobaisbest/pseuds/bobaisbest
Summary: But that’s what he gets, Doyoung supposes, for agreeing to be roommates with his ex.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 62
Kudos: 500
Collections: dojae enthusiast





	behind these closed doors

Doyoung and his roommate have been playing a very weird kind of game as of late.

Initially, Doyoung did not think it was that weird. Even after Taeyong pointed out that the habit wasn’t quite normal, Doyoung had brushed it off because he knew, just like anyone else who has ever lived with another person knows, that all roommates have an odd sort of relationship that would never make sense to an outsider. There’s just a certain type of rapport that builds when you start living with somebody and Doyoung thinks that it’s probably normal to share some special understanding with the person you jointly pay your electricity bill with.

It was small things at first, like Jaehyun’s hand resting on his shoulder a certain way, or Doyoung cuddling a little too close during their weekend movie nights, clutching tight on Jaehyun’s arm as someone on screen gets brutally murdered. Jaehyun always picks the worst movies but he sort of makes up for it by indulging Doyoung and his deep favoritism for early 2000s romantic comedies. Thinking back, maybe that could also be considered one of the things that got this all going.

Doyoung often stayed in these days, opting to hang out with Jaehyun in the evenings. They usually cooked dinner together. Jaehyun is generally an enjoyable person to be around, Doyoung knew that much coming into this living situation. Why go out and seek entertainment when there was perfectly good company at home?

It was nothing, really. Just two roommates spending a lot of time together. At least that’s what Doyoung told Taeyong, who raised his eyebrows so high that Doyoung thought they might fly off his forehead. And then had dropped the subject, because Doyoung was clearly in denial.

It’s hard to be in denial now though, especially with how loud Doyoung cries out Jaehyun’s name as he gets pounded into the mattress for the third time that week.

“You like that?” Jaehyun says, leaning forward to whisper in his ear as he fucks Doyoung from behind. “Feels good?”

Doyoung was never one for talking during sex but he finds himself more tolerant of it with Jaehyun. After all, his roommate could say the most embarrassing shit and still sound hot while he’s at it. Doyoung is pretty sure that if Jaehyun ever asked him to call him  _ daddy,  _ he would actually do it.

“Yes,” he sighs, petering out into a broken moan as Jaehyun drives in particularly deep, his cock dragging wetly against the tight grip of Doyoung’s body. “Feels so good.”

Jaehyun speeds up then, thrusting faster as his hands hold Doyoung’s hips in place. It’s tortuous, the way Jaehyun fucks with so much force that Doyoung scoots up the bed a little each time, arms braced against the headboard while his face is shoved down into a pillow, air punching out of his lungs as Jaehyun continues his harrowing pace.

It doesn’t take much after that. All Jaehyun does is put his teeth on Doyoung’s ear, breath hot on his neck as he grunts with each push.

“Come on. Show me how good I make you feel.”

It’s kind of embarrassing, but that’s what does it for Doyoung. He comes with a groan, clenching down as he empties himself on Jaehyun’s sheets. His back arches tightly, so much that he’ll be sure to feel sore in the morning. Suddenly, he’s lost strength in all his limbs, collapsed completely except for where Jaehyun still has an arm holding him up by the waist.

Jaehyun doesn’t slow down. If anything, he goes even faster, stirring up a mess inside Doyoung as he chases his own pleasure. 

“Fuck,” he grunts, pulling out almost completely just to bottom out again.  _ “Fuck.” _

Doyoung feels two hands on his ass, spreading him further while stretching his rim, making him feel impossibly full. His knees slip pitifully against Jaehyun’s expensive sheets, sliding for purchase but never finding it.

“Are you—  _ ah,  _ close?” he whimpers, nearly crying out from the oversensitivity.

“Just a bit more,” Jaehyun replies, breathy and panting. “Baby, just a bit more—  _ fuck.” _

And then he’s coming too, working through the orgasm with circling movements against Doyoung’s ass. It makes an embarrassingly wet noise throughout the apartment as Jaehyun wrings out the last of it, eventually slumping over him. Doyoung truly collapses this time.

It’s good. It’s always good with Jaehyun, but Doyoung is sweaty and tired and there is an uncomfortably damp spot underneath him from when he came on the sheets earlier.

“Put them in the wash,” he mutters, weakly shoving Jaehyun off his body.

“Sure,” Jaehyun says, rolling effortlessly off the bed and tossing the used condom into the trash. He’s clearly winded, sweat dripping down the side of his neck, but he keeps his tone nonchalant, which is infuriating for a different reason.

Doyoung slowly picks himself up, waddling to Jaehyun’s bathroom and turning on the shower to the hottest possible temperature that won’t scale his skin off. He’s halfway through scrubbing down his body when he hears the telltale signs of Jaehyun starting the washing machine. Then the door opens and Jaehyun steps into the shower with him, a looming presence despite only being an inch taller.

“Sleepy?” Jaehyun murmurs, pulling Doyoung’s body close, back to his chest. He smooths a hand down Doyoung’s side, slowly trailing lower and lower.

“Yes, very sleepy,” Doyoung tuts, plucking Jaehyun’s hand away from its path and placing it on a more respectable spot on his waist. “Hurry and wash up. I want to pass out.”

For some reason, they routinely fuck on Jaehyun’s bed and sleep in Doyoung’s. It just happened that way, since someone’s sheets are always in the wash and the only remaining option is to sleep on the one other clean bed in the apartment. Doyoung wouldn’t banish Jaehyun to the couch. That’s just plain rude.

In fact, Doyoung is more than fine with this since he is not particularly interested in soiling his own bed sheets as much as they desecrate the unfortunately pricy linens that Jaehyun moved into the apartment with. Maybe for his birthday, Doyoung will purchase Jaehyun an extra set of sheets to make up for the incredible number of cycles they’ve been putting his current ones through.

That isn’t for another couple months though, so Doyoung puts the thought out of his mind as he settles into bed with Jaehyun spooning him closely from behind. Doyoung used to push him away but quickly stopped when he realized that in some way or another, their limbs would become tangled sometime throughout the night. Might as well just let Jaehyun have what he wants.

It isn’t until well past three in the morning, with Jaehyun slumped into his side and snoring way too loud, that Doyoung finally admits it to himself.

_ This is weird. This is so weird. _

But that’s what he gets, Doyoung supposes, for agreeing to be roommates with his ex.

  
  
  
  


If Doyoung had to pick one the one thing that started it all, that  _ really _ started it all, it would probably have to be… their weekly movie nights.

It pains him to admit this, because it’s so fucking basic, but the truth isn’t always the greatest and Doyoung has long since swallowed the difficult pill of acknowledging the fact that he is weak.

Doyoung tries hard in life. He tries very hard. He wakes up early and showers every day. He vacuums frequently and puts great effort into sorting out the recycling. He never says no when his friends ask for favors and he doesn’t get mad either when they mess up his apartment during particularly wild nights in. Doyoung tries very hard to keep it together and he’d like to think that he does a pretty good job. But in spite of that, he’s still got cracks in his walls and beneath those walls is something else entirely. Beneath those walls, behind every muted sigh and all his trained habits, is nothing more than a simple man. A simple, weak man.

Would you say no if Jaehyun, with his tired eyes and charming smile, asked timidly if you would like to watch a movie with him on the couch? No, Doyoung does not think anyone who is sane would say no to something like that. Even if Jaehyun is their ex-boyfriend.  _ Especially _ if Jaehyun is their ex-boyfriend.

They had built up a pretty good routine for about a month or so. Every Friday, Jaehyun would get back from work with the day’s worth of filth and exhaustion clinging to his skin. Doyoung always got off earlier than he did, so he would already be in the kitchen, starting up whatever dinner they had previously agreed on. After showering and changing into something more comfortable, Jaehyun would join him in the kitchen to help finish up. Then they would move to the couch, Doyoung carefully arranging the bowls on their coffee table while Jaehyun flicked through the TV for potential film options.

It was mostly airtight, only becoming a little bit questionable on the particularly fatigued days where Doyoung just could not keep his eyes open any longer, drifting asleep as the movie played on. He would often wake up to his face shoved in the crook between Jaehyun’s shoulder and neck, a tragically comfortable spot that he would inevitably have to leave as Jaehyun shook him awake, teasing him yet again for missing the end of the film.

And as much as he wanted to, Doyoung never spent the night on the couch. Even if he was already buried underneath their fluffy throw blankets, Jaehyun would goad him on, insisting that he follow through with brushing his teeth and washing his face before truly retiring for the night. It was honestly appreciated, because Doyoung always felt like shit on the mornings following lazy nights where he didn’t bother to gargle with mouthwash. It also ensured that the two of them always ended up sleeping in their own beds, which at the time, Doyoung was not even aware that this could become a problem. Well, hindsight is twenty-twenty after all.

The day that starts it all, that  _ really _ starts it all, is a mediocre March evening. Doyoung is in the kitchen, stirring pasta in the pot, when the familiar sound of Jaehyun’s keys in the door echoes throughout the apartment, fifteen minutes sooner than usual.

“You’re early,” he says, knowing that his voice carries over to the front door.

“Big promotion day,” Jaehyun explains, stepping into the kitchen for a whiff of what’s cooking. “For my boss, not me. Well, I guess she’s my former boss now.”

“Oh, good for her,” Doyoung comments. “Did she give a big speech and all?”

“She did,” Jaehyun laughs. “She also gave everyone on the team one of these—”

Jaehyun pulls out an ornate bottle of dark liquor from the bag he’s been holding.

“Oh my,” Doyoung says. “That looks expensive.”

“It is,” Jaehyun nods. “Pretty good parting gift. We can drink it with the pasta.”

Doyoung wrinkles his nose. “That won’t pair well.”

“But I really want to try the whiskey.”

“We have perfectly good red wine that we have to finish in the fridge.”

_ “Please?”  _ Jaehyun asks. He frowns just a bit, his lips pouting cutely in a downturned shape. Doyoung caves in a second. He is a simple, weak man.

“Fine. But I’m choosing the movie.”

“Awesome,” Jaehyun says, smiling as he puts the bottle down on the counter. “Gonna go change. I’ll be out really soon.”

“Sure,” Doyoung replies, distractedly stirring the sauce as he wondered, deep in the back of his mind, if he had already made a mistake.

The answer is yes. This was a mistake. A big mistake.

Jaehyun is loose with his pours, liberally emptying the bottle into their glasses as the movie wears on. Doyoung doesn’t know why he keeps allowing himself to drink. The alcohol is not even that good. Maybe it’s the food, or his mood at the moment, or the fact that he’s chosen an amazing film for tonight.  _ How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days _ is one that never gets old. Doyoung himself has seen it so many times, he’s practically lost count. There’s just something about the masked personalities and buildup to the final scene that really gets to him. He always looks forward to the end.

Unfortunately, that ending never comes. Matthew McConaughey is chasing Kate Hudson’s taxi down the street when Doyoung, halfway to wasted, looks up and realizes how close Jaehyun is. How close Jaehyun’s face is to his.

“What’s up?” Jaehyun says, his words slurring just a little. “You feel alright?” 

What happens next is not something that Doyoung can explain. Usually, Doyoung can justify his actions with the reasonable thoughts going through his head at the time. He cannot do that here because as he leans in close to Jaehyun’s face, there are no thoughts at all. His brain has simply ceased to think.

It is incredibly warm the moment their lips touch. Doyoung has not been kissed in a very long time and this is the kiss of all kisses, Jaehyun looming over him with strong arms and a deep sigh, moaning straight into Doyoung’s mouth in a way that should not be as sexy as it is.

They kiss just like that, slowly and deeply against the cushions of the couch, until Jaehyun gets a bit too fidgety, shifting his weight with a hand on Doyoung’s side. Doyoung can feel Jaehyun’s hardness.

_ “Fuck,”  _ he swears, rolling his hips up to counter the realization.

Jaehyun reacts well to it, groaning loudly before grabbing Doyoung’s waist and doing the same, grinding their crotches together clumsily.

“Is this—” he says, hips stuttering with the contact. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Doyoung gasps. “But on a bed. Not the couch.”

How they got to his room is sort of a blur, but Doyoung is startled back to awareness when he bounces just a little from the force with which Jaehyun throws him down on the bed.

_ That’s hot,  _ his monkey brain supplies.

Jaehyun busies himself with removing their clothes, fingers curling hesitantly around the waistband of Doyoung’s briefs when that becomes the last remaining barrier between them.

“Still good for this?” he asks.

“Still good,” Doyoung replies, holding his breath when Jaehyun pulls down his underwear with one swift motion. His cock bobs up embarrassingly and Jaehyun takes it into his hand, stroking up and down slowly.

“Fuck,” Doyoung gasps, breathless as he fumbles under his pillow for a bottle of lube. “Use this.”

“You keep that right there?” Jaehyun asks, one eyebrow raised as he pops open the cap to the half-empty bottle. “Been a bit busy, have we?”

“It’s good stress relief,” Doyoung grumbles. “Now, are we doing this or not?”

“We are,” Jaehyun replies, sinking in a finger to the first knuckle without a single warning.

Doyoung softly cries out at the intrusion, opting to close his eyes rather than give another snippy response. Jaehyun had always been more straightforward during sex, prefering to get down to business instead of entertaining Doyoung’s attitude.

Preparation goes slower than Doyoung would have liked, because it’s been quite awhile since he’s done something like this, but Jaehyun is patient as always. He works Doyoung up to three fingers before pulling out gently.

“Condoms?” he asks, pressing a heel to his own cock to relieve some of the pressure.

“Um— in the nightstand,” Doyoung says, gesturing haphazardly.

Jaehyun blindly reaches into Doyoung’s nightstand drawer and pulls out a string of condoms. He suddenly stops, blinking down at his fingers.

“What?” Doyoung says, irritated at the lack of hands on his body.

“There’s four left in here,” Jaehyun explains, holding up foil packages. “I remember there being four left after the last time we fucked. You know, right before we—”

_...broke up. _

“Yes, well,” Doyoung croaks, suddenly feeling exposed despite having been naked for the past twenty minutes. “It’s been a busy year, alright? It’s not like I’ve been going out on dates or going out at all, really—”

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun says, cutting him off with a kiss. “Me too. I haven’t— um, been with anyone else either.”

There’s a red flag in there somewhere, but Doyoung in the moment is just too horny to care.

“We’re in the same boat then,” he says, kissing back with equal fervor as he reaches for condoms in Jaehyun’s hands and tears one off the bunch. “Let’s put these to good use, okay?”

“Okay,” Jaehyun agrees, scooting closer so Doyoung could slide the condom onto him with ease.

“Ready?” Doyoung says, stroking Jaehyun hard once, then twice, just to be a tease. 

“Yeah,” Jaehyun replies, sort of strangled. “Are you— um, just like this?”

He gestures to both their bodies— like this. Missionary. Doyoung shakes his head at the realization.

“No,” he smiles, flipping over with ease. “I know you like looking at my ass while we fuck.”

He wiggles his hips a little, arching up just so. Jaehyun sucks in a sharp breath, which Doyoung finds very pleasing. It’s good to know that even the untouchable Jaehyun can get flustered sometimes.

“You’re killing me,” Jaehyun mumbles, lining up with a tight grip on Doyoung’s hips. “Are you ready?”

Doyoung laughs, finding his politeness sort of funny. 

“I’ve  _ been _ ready, Jaehyun. Would you hurry up and—  _ oh,  _ fuck.”

Jaehyun had prepared him with care, but that didn’t change the fact that there was just a lot to take. They go slowly, inch by inch until Jaehyun bottoms out completely and Doyoung has no breath left to breathe.

“I— um, just give me a moment,” he pants, still trying to adjust himself around Jaehyun’s size.

“Sure,” Jaehyun says, mumbling against the skin of Doyoung’s neck. His mouth slowly travels down his back, ghosting across each knob of his spine. By the time he reaches low, Doyoung is soothed enough to go.

“I’m ready,” he softly says. “You can move.”

Having Jaehyun sloppily fuck him on a lazy Friday night is nothing short of euphoric for Doyoung, who has experienced a pathetic dry spell for the last few months of his life. And it gets even better when Jaehyun decides to pick up the pace.

“Holy shit, Doyoung, you’re— you’re tight,” he groans, thrusting so hard and deep that Doyoung nearly sees fucking stars.

He moans in response, too fucked out to properly form words. All that comes out is little gasps,  _ ah ah ah _ every time Jaehyun hits it just right. Doyoung has been so tightly wound recently that he was sure to fall apart from the very start. He’s falling apart now, choking on air as Jaehyun wraps a fist around his cock, applying pressure in all the right places. It’s too much and not enough, eclipsing toward something Doyoung knows he isn’t ready for.

Jaehyun comes first, lightly biting Doyoung’s shoulder as he stills completely for a moment. The moment isn’t long, but it feels long to Doyoung, who has been left hanging on the edge of an excruciating cliff.

“Jaehyun,” he cries, sobbing against the pillows. “Jaehyun,  _ please—” _

Fortunately, Jaehyun takes pity and finishes him off with quick and tight strokes. There’s a vulgar noise when Jaehyun pulls out, replacing his cock with three fingers inside Doyoung’s ass and curling them up in just the right direction. Doyoung really screams then, his vision nearly blacking out as he comes all over the sheets.

“That was good,” Jaehyun coos, continuing to milk Doyoung through his orgasm. “That was so good. You were so good.”

“You were good too,” Doyoung says, slumping against the bed as he watches Jaehyun head to the bathroom to search for a washcloth.

If Doyoung thought he was tired before, then he is completely drained now, devoid of all strength in every part of his body. His eyelids threaten to shut every time he blinks. Slowly, he falls asleep as Jaehyun returns and gently cleans him up.

The last thing Doyoung realizes before passing out is how big of a mistake all of this is, and how glad he is to have made this mistake.

  
  
  
  


Before they had even been introduced, Doyoung heard through the grapevine that in addition to being incredibly attractive, Jaehyun was also extremely friendly and likable. In general, Doyoung does not believe that perfection can exist in people because it’s simply not possible. But if it did, Jaehyun would probably be among the first to wear a label like that. He was a fine specimen, apparently, and everyone kept saying he was so great, so _nice,_ that even all his exes, people whose hearts he broke and people who had the audacity to try and break his heart, had stayed good friends with him.

The concept made Doyoung scoff just a little. Stay friends with your exes? Nobody in their right mind would do that without some sort of ulterior motive. They either wanted to get back together or stick around long enough for a quick fuck. Exes are good for things like that, although Doyoung cannot say that he’s ever been on the asking end of a past-midnight booty call.

He supposes he can’t judge though. Especially since he and Jaehyun broke up nine months ago yet Jaehyun is currently balls deep inside of him.

_ “Please,” _ he gasps, feeling himself being stretched thin. There’s a hand on his back, slowly shoving down as Jaehyun bends him over the side of the living room couch. He’s going to die and Jaehyun is the one that is killing him, thrusting in slow and hard as he builds up a rhythm.

One of the best things about this arrangement with Jaehyun is that Doyoung never has to tell him what to do. Jaehyun just does it without asking, like he knows what Doyoung wants and what exactly will get him off in the current moment. Benefits of sleeping with someone you used to date, he supposes, but there are some other intricacies in that statement that Doyoung isn’t really ready to unpack.

He comes so hard that it ends up all over the floor and even on the upholstery. Cleaning up will be such a bitch, but Doyoung can’t really think too hard about that when he’s wholly focused on the deep moans behind him.

Jaehyun pulls out then, the head of his cock stretching Doyoung’s rim on its way out. He strokes himself to completion, hard and fast until he reaches his peak, a strangled noise coming out of his throat. He splatters white all over Doyoung’s backside, the mess dripping obscenely down his taint. Doyoung gives them a moment, panting slightly from exertion.

“You’re killing me,” he says. “Now I have to mop again—  _ what the fuck is that?” _

He ducks, bringing Jaehyun down with him despite his roommate’s soft protests.

“What?” Jaehyun asks. “What’s wrong?”

_ “Look,”  _ Doyoung hisses, pointing to their living room window, where they have a clear view of what’s inside the building across the street.

It looks like a large room, with spacious, tall ceilings. There’s practically no furniture except for the rows of canvases adorning the walls. An art gallery, maybe? But that’s not what Doyoung is talking about. What Doyoung is talking about is... 

“Were those people  _ watching us?”  _ Jaehyun nearly chokes out. “This entire time?”

It’s unmistakable— the silhouettes of two people by the window, one wearing red and the other in an awfully ugly striped sweater. It’s hard to see their expressions, but they’re definitely facing this way. And they definitely have a good view of Doyoung and Jaehyun’s apartment.

“Oh, what the fuck,” Doyoung groans, too afraid to look up lest he makes eye contact with those terrible voyeur people. “I  _ told _ you we should’ve fucked in your bedroom.”

“Sorry!” Jaehyun cries, throwing his arms up. “That was before I knew there were people across the street  _ observing us.” _

“Shut up,” Doyoung says, grabbing the nearest throw blanket and wrapping it around himself despite the mess on his body. They’ll have to toss this into the wash immediately.

He tiptoes across the living room as gingerly as he can with Jaehyun’s bodily fluids still dripping off of him. Then he reaches for the blinds, pulling them shut. Jaehyun’s sigh of relief is audible from where he still sits, hilariously crouched down by their couch.

“That’s the last time we do this in the living room,” Doyoung decides. “Got it?”

Jaehyun exhales deeply, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“Got it,” he sighs. “I’ll go get the mop.”

  
  
  
  


If Doyoung thought dating Jaehyun was something strange, then he clearly had not been in his right mind when he signed their joint lease, because living together promised a different beast entirely.

But when Doyoung thinks about it long and hard, it was a choice that he made for himself, After all, there is something strangely vindicating about seeing the unmade side of someone who everyone else seems to think is so great. It was something Doyoung was very much looking forward to because Jaehyun on the surface was practically perfect. He smiled so much it almost looked plastic, like an artist has strategically placed dimples on the most endearing parts of his face. His hair was often styled, and even if it was not, the honey-brown locks fell messily in  _ just _ the right ways to make him look like the male lead of any TVN drama. And he was also nice, smiling at strangers and making people fall in love left and right, simply by existing. Anyone would’ve been lucky to date someone like him. And that’s what Doyoung had hated the most.

Jaehyun as a boyfriend was beyond perfect. He liked to plan out all their dates and never showed up even a minute late. He was kind and understanding, always ready to pop up to Doyoung’s apartment with soup and cold meds whenever Doyoung came down with whatever sickness was floating around that year. He was agreeable too, always knew how to diffuse a situation before it blew up into something too big. They probably only had one real argument over the course of their entire relationship and that was the one leading up to their break-up. And also, he had an endless list of restaurant suggestions whenever Doyoung couldn’t decide what to eat. That was probably the best part of it all.

The sex was great too. As if sex with someone like Jaehyun could possible be bad. Doyoung used to sit back on the pillows, his brain stunned in a post-coital haze, and think how amazing it was that the heavens really played their favorites. And Jaehyun was the favorite of them all

Everything had been great. So good. Amazing, even. Jaehyun was perfect.  _ Being _ with Jaehyun was perfect. It was all just so excellent and untouchable and everytime he looked in the mirror, Doyoung felt like a dark moon, pitifully eclipsed by the bright and beautiful existence of the cosmic being that was his boyfriend at the time.

So that’s what it was like to be in a relationship with the great and perfect Jaehyun. Despite being as close with him as two people could possibly be, Doyoung had always thought, in the back of his mind, that there were unspeakable walls within Jaehyun that not even a boyfriend of over a year could hope to tear down. 

It just all seemed very strange. No one is that perfect  _ all _ the time. Although, it’s not like Doyoung was ever around Jaehyun during all hours of the clock. Sure, they spend the nights, sometimes turning one-night stays into three-night stays, but moving in with each other had never been something brought to the table even once during the course of their entire relationship. Looking back, that was kind of odd since everyone else their age had been clamoring for the opportunity to cohabitate with their significant other. Be it for money or convenience, their friends had all touted it as the best possible option. When Taeyong moved in with Johnny, Doyoung did not see his best friend for nearly three months. And then finally, Taeyong had emerged from that cave he called his apartment, neck littered with hickies, and joined Doyoung at the brunch table just to say  _ yeah, living with a boyfriend is pretty great. _

Sure. Doyoung wasn’t going to disagree with that statement. Living with your boyfriend probably  _ is _ pretty great. But the problem here was that Doyoung didn’t have a boyfriend. He has Jaehyun, an ex-boyfriend who is also now his roommate. And as a roommate, Doyoung was hoping to see all the sides of Jaehyun that he couldn’t back when he was his boyfriend.

Does Jaehyun ever wake up too late in the mornings? Does he pick his nose when he thinks no one is watching? Maybe he’s secretly bad at cooking but practiced a lot so it tasted amazing whenever he cooked for Doyoung back when they were dating. Or maybe he’s bad at washing dishes? Maybe he’s stupid enough to mop before he vacuums. Or he might be bad at laundry, letting it pile up until he ran out of socks and had no choice but to turn his underwear inside out for the clean side.

There’s a million flaws that Jaehyun as a roommate could possibly have and Doyoung was more than ready to document all of it with his overthinking brain. Doyoung wanted vindication. He wanted proof. He wanted to see for himself, once and for all, that Jaehyun is an actual human and not just a robot designed to be everyone’s favorite person. It’s somewhere there, he knows.

Taeyong called him psycho for it, but Doyoung is not a bad person. Or at least he doesn't think he is. He simply has a morbid curiosity, seeking out answers to questions which were never addressed during their pleasantly fleeting relationship. Jaehyun has those answers, surely. Underneath that fake-but-genuine smile and layers and layers of practiced perfection is a living, beating heart that is capable of being broken. And no, Doyoung does not want to do anything with that heart. He just wants to see it, that’s all.

He really,  _ really  _ wants to see it for himself.

  
  
  
  


There’s something bothering Doyoung lately about the sex that they have. No, there was nothing wrong with it. Doyoung has never enjoyed himself more. What he has a problem with has more to do with the  _ kind _ of sex that they have.

Sex with Jaehyun as a boyfriend had been, at best, vanilla. It was good, obviously. Everything with Jaehyun was good, Doyoung would like to make that clear right now. An orgasm is an orgasm and there’s nothing quite like coming apart underneath Jaehyun, who sweats with exertion and groans deep in his chest when he’s lost inside of Doyoung. Jaehyun was someone who never skipped days at the gym, which Doyoung appreciated greatly as he ran his hands up and down his boyfriend’s body every time they got intimate.

Sex with Jaehyun as a boyfriend was fine. But sex with Jaehyun as a roommate is, to put it simply, downright nasty.

Doyoung has been choked, slapped, and thrown around more in these past six months than he has his entire life. The sex they have sometimes feels straight out of porn. Doyoung is on his knees one moment, begging for cock in his mouth, then thrown forward the next, ass up in the air as Jaehyun spanks him until he counts to ten. There’s a box of sex toys under his bed that only continues to grow in number. Doyoung has lost count of how many times he’s come just from being eaten out. Jaehyun has a skill, and it’s an absolute shame that they never explored too much of it back when they actually had a relationship.

Doyoung usually tells Taeyong everything, but he does not tell any of  _ this  _ to Taeyong. He kind of wants to, but Taeyong had already given him the cold shoulder about the whole roommates-hooking-up thing and Doyoung just couldn’t work up the nerve to tell his best friend. It turns out that he doesn’t have to, though, because Taeyong comes over for wine and cheese on one of the rare nights that Jaehyun is out with Johnny, and sits down on an uncomfortable lump on Doyoung’s living room couch.

“Oh, what’s this?” he says, reaching behind himself to grab whatever offending object it was. “Did you leave a shirt here or something—”

He holds up his arm and comes face to face with a handful of sheer lace and satin, colored in a very cute lavender. All the blood immediately drains from Doyoung’s face.

“Is this…” Taeyong begins, his face contorting into something that indicates his brain is unable to comprehend the absurdity of his current situation. “Doyoung, is this  _ lingerie?” _

Doyoung contemplates lying to Taeyong, but he ultimately decides that his best friend deserves better than that. Taeyong is one of the few people from high school that Doyoung still keeps around. Doyoung in high school was a fickle and uptight creature, requiring lots and lots of patience to deal with, and Taeyong had all the patience in the world. He stayed with Doyoung in high school, all throughout college, and even now, when they are grown adults and Doyoung is going off and doing stupid things like fucking his roommate slash ex-boyfriend.

Taeyong has been through so much for Doyoung, so he deserves to know the truth. Also, it’s pretty hard to lie around this situation anyways, so Doyoung didn’t really think that was a plausible option at all. Like, what is he supposed to say? That he bought this for a friend? A family member? Now that’s just plain weird.

“Yes, that is lingerie,” he answers. The words leave his mouth and he watches as they enter Taeyong’s ears, comprehension slowly dawning on his face.

“And you wear this?” Taeyong says, waving the lace around. “You wear this shit for Jaehyun?”

“Well, I—” Doyoung starts.

Or— wait, don’t tell me,” Taeyong gasps, his eyes going impossibly wide.  _ “He _ wears it?”

Across the couch, Doyoung can practically see the steam coming out of Taeyong’s ears, his mind probably racing at a hundred kilometers per hour. 

“No, I wear it,” he corrects, snatching the undergarments from Taeyong’s grip. He deliberately tries to ignore the flame burning underneath his face, embarrassment flaring down his entire body.

Taeyong looks at him for a long moment before speaking.

“Well, for the record,” he says. “I think you would look very good in it. Does Jaehyun like it?”

“Yes, Jaehyun likes it,” Doyoung mutters, sprinting toward his bedroom to toss the dreadful purple thing onto his bed. By the time he returns, Taeyong is staring at him with one eyebrow raised and both his arms crossed.

“So,” he begins. “Do you admit that this is weird?”

Doyoung sits down on the couch, making himself comfortable again.

“Yes,” he replies once he’s done fluffing the cushions. “It is weird.”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

Well, that’s an easy one.

“Nothing. The sex is too good.”

Taeyong leans back and chuckles fakely, which is something he often does when he wants to let Doyoung know that just because he respects his decisions doesn’t mean that he agrees with them.

“Don’t laugh,” Doyoung mumbles, looking down bitterly at the glass of wine in his hand. “I’ll figure it out.”

“Sure,” Taeyong says, his expression turning dubious. “I’m sure you will.”

No one says anything for a good minute.

“So now that I know you’re into this kind of stuff, Johnny really likes it when I—”

“Taeyong,  _ no.” _

  
  
  
  


Doyoung and Jaehyun had broken up on semi-amicable terms. It had been a long time coming anyways— there was something in the air between that just felt stagnant and rotten. Something that couldn’t really be fixed because neither of them were really interested in fixing it. It was both of their faults, Doyoung supposes, because he didn’t do anything to stop it when he could have. Neither did Jaehyun.

They had agreed to stay friends, but decided it was best if they did not see or talk to each other for at least the next couple months while their emotions were still cooling off. It was something that Doyoung thought was very mature of them to do. Their lives were tragically entangled, after all. Doyoung’s best friend was Taeyong, and Jaehyun’s best friend was Johnny. They couldn’t avoid each other forever. There were also the rest of their friends, mutuals who didn’t want to choose sides in the face of it all. And Doyoung didn’t want to force them to do that.

Not everything about their separation was completely healthy though. They met up one last time in Jaehyun’s apartment, so Doyoung could retrieve everything that had been left there over the course of their year-long relationship. He had just packed it all into a box when Jaehyun stood close to him, smiling with apprehension as he invited him to stay for dinner, and maybe a movie.

“One last time?” he asked, and it was easy for Doyoung to fall back into habit. As if he would let Jaehyun end things without at least giving him some hot, break-up sex.

Clean-up was fast, because after three back-blowing rounds, there was nothing more that Doyoung wanted to do than bolt the fuck out of there. They barely said bye to each other when Doyoung slammed the door closed, rushing onto the street while carrying his sad box of things and hailing the nearest taxicab to take him back home.

Later though, sitting in the loneliness of his dark bedroom, Doyoung wished he stayed a bit longer. Dating Jaehyun had been, in some ways, very lonely. But being by himself is much lonelier and suddenly, Doyoung was reminded why some people stayed together, even if they were bad for each other. He looked down at his empty hands and remembered that not even an hour ago, he was holding someone between his arms.

And then he started crying.

  
  
  
  


October brings a coldness over the city, which Doyoung doesn’t mind because he thinks Jaehyun looks very dapper in scarves. Tonight, he’s trying a new soup recipe, stirring graciously as he mixes in the vegetables and spice. He’s feeling good today. It’s Friday, after all, and the following Monday is a national holiday. Everyone’s got a three-day weekend to look forward to. It makes Doyoung unnaturally happy. Maybe he’ll even let Jaehyun pick the movie for tonight.

The hands on the clock come and go past six. Soup is simmering on the stove, ready to be served, and Jaehyun is half an hour late to coming home. Doyoung checks his phone and sees that there’s no new messages, or at least none from Jaehyun.

“What in the world,” he mutters, portioning out a bowl for himself. 

Was Jaehyun okay? Did he run into trouble on his way back from work? Or maybe he was still stuck in the office, slaving away at his cubicle. His team has been working on a big proposal, Doyoung knows that much. Maybe it was that. Maybe they had a lot of work to do. On a Friday night.

For the first time since they’ve moved in, Doyoung eats dinner alone. He finishes the food fast, because there’s nothing around to distract him from eating. No people to talk to, no movie playing on the TV, and no Jaehyun to ask him about his day. 

Doyoung is lounging on the couch, mindlessly letting a sitcom play on, episode after episode, when he finally breaks. He texts Johnny, because something incredibly petty inside him refuses to contact Jaehyun first.

_ > do you know where jaehyun is? he didn’t tell me where he was _

Johnny’s response comes fast.

_ > I think he went out _

_ > He didn’t tell you? _

Doyoung quickly texts back, just to be polite.

_ > he didn’t. _

_ > thanks for letting me know, though _

Then Doyoung squints down at his phone screen, trying to decide what emotion would be appropriate for him to feel right now.

Truthfully, he feels fucking awful. Questions flood his mind and they just keep on coming, like a dam has burst through. Jaehyun was out? Doing what? Eating? Drinking? Partying? Also, where was he? A restaurant? A bar? Or maybe the club? And who was he with... his friends? His co-workers? A date, maybe? 

Doyoung flinches when he realizes that he’s being awfully possessive for someone who is just supposed to be a friendly roommate. That’s all he is, isn’t he? Just a roommate, who also happens to be an ex-boyfriend. But that shouldn’t matter because they broke up, almost a whole fucking year ago. They decided to put that stuff behind them. There’s no use in thinking about it now.

Yes, Jaehyun had spent nearly every single Friday for the last eight months staying in with Doyoung, eating home-cooked food and watching shitty films. But neither of them had ever said that this was an official thing. There was no agreement or discussion. There were no terms or conditions. Jaehyun’s Friday nights were free for him to spend. Doyoung had no say over that. He would be overstepping his bounds.

But despite all that, he still feels like shit. A simple text would’ve been nice. What would ordinary roommates do in a situation like this? Probably just pack up the food and go to sleep. Why can’t Doyoung just do that? Why does he feel so goddamn depressed?

His phone buzzes three times. Doyoung scrambles to read the notifications.

_ > hey _

_ > eat without me _

_ > I’ll be coming home late _

Doyoung places his phone face down on the nightstand and tries not to pathetically cry. Then he goes to sleep without even replying.

  
  
  
  


When Doyoung wakes up the next morning, Jaehyun still has not returned.

_ Ah,  _ he thinks with a sinking feeling.  _ It was probably a date, then. _

Doyoung drags himself out of bed, glares at the tear stains on his cheeks, and scrubs his face hard enough to make them disappear. He changes into something that isn’t pajamas and heads into the kitchen to pack up the soup he accidentally left out all night.

The kettle is brewing water for tea when Doyoung hears the sound of keys jingling in the lock, something he should’ve heard over twelve hours ago. Jaehyun bursts through the door still in last night’s clothes.

“Doyoung,” he says. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve called you, or something. The team closed a big deal and we all just went out to celebrate. It was so late that I just crashed at Yuta’s, I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark—”

Doyoung takes in Jaehyun’s disheveled appearance and nearly withers on sight. He looks good, like one does after a fun night out. His face is a little sunken, but not even a hangover could diminish the blessed image of Jaehyun’s attractive face.

Doyoung feels terrible. Jaehyun could be telling the truth, or he could easily be telling a lie to cover up whatever other activities he was up to last night. He forgot to call or text? Really? Was he really that busy, pouring drinks and taking shots with his co-workers? Doyoung doesn’t know, and he doesn’t really care to find out. He just feels so, so terrible.

“I— um, have to go,” he says, darting out of the kitchen to grab his coat and keys and phone and wallet and whatever else is within arm’s reach. “I’ll see you later. Probably. I don’t know.”

And then he escapes, closing the door in Jaehyun’s face, leaving his roommate with no explanation at all and a kettle on the stove, whistling with steam as the water inside boils away.

Doyoung takes the bus. It helps clear his mind, sitting tight on the bowling-alley-print seats and watching the Saturday morning drive by as the bus goes stop by stop. When it turns onto a familiar street, Doyoung stands up. He exits through the open doors and walks half a block to an apartment that he knows almost as well as his own.

“Hi,” he greets, hand still poised from where he rang the bell.

Taeyong just sighs, opening his door further to let Doyoung in.

“Come in,” he says. “Have you eaten yet?”

  
  
  
  


They met on a night where the sky was cold and clear. There was not a single cloud up there and Doyoung remembers that he could spy the Big Dipper, eyes tracing across the stars before Taeyong so rudely shook his shoulder.

“Hey, are you with me? They’re here.”

Doyoung snaps his gaze to where Taeyong is gesturing, four boys climbing out of a taxi. Johnny’s towering figure comes out first, squeezing out of the passenger seat and nodding at Doyoung before kissing Taeyong right on the cheek.

“Missed you,” he whispers, and the scene is so sweetly intimate that Doyoung has to tear his eyes away.

Johnny had started out as Taeyong’s flavor of the month, just one of many in a revolving door of flings and hook-ups that Doyoung had unfortunately remained privy to on the basis of being Taeyong’s best friend. Basically, that meant he had to listen to every single detail about Taeyong’s nasty escapades. Those all stopped when Johnny decided to stick around, tying Taeyong down to two, then three months of a committed relationship, which was a feat that no boy had ever achieved before. Then suddenly, three months turned into six, six turned into nine, and it felt like almost yesterday that they had their first date when really, Doyoung was helping Taeyong plan their first year’s anniversary celebration.

Ten and Kun clamor out next, hand in hand like the disgusting couple that they are. Ten shoots him a smug look and Doyoung barely has any time to process what that means before the final person exits the car, his beautiful face shining incredibly under the streetlights.

“Hi,” he says, breath fogging up the winter air. “Doyoung, right? I’m Jaehyun. Nice to finally meet you.”

He offers a gloved hand, which Doyoung quickly shakes. The leather is soft against his skin and Doyoung briefly considers purchasing a nice pair of gloves for himself. This winter feels quite cold and perhaps he could use the protection.

“Glad to finally meet you too,” he says, although he isn’t so glad to meet Jaehyun as he is to finally satisfy a strange curiosity.

Over the years, Doyoung has heard a lot about Jaehyun. It started in uni, when there was a freshman enrolled that semester who was charming and sweet, unintentionally rising in the ranks of popularity with his soothing voice and dimpled smile. Doyoung heard most of it through Jungwoo, who had enthusiastically involved himself in activities like the dance team and choir club.

Doyoung himself was greatly occupied with student government and the engineering society, both of which were commitments that diminished significantly when he was fortunate enough to snag a coveted position at his favorite professor’s research lab. And from there, his presence in the partying scene had grown even smaller than it already was before. The only times he had ever been reminded of Jaehyun’s existence was through social media, pictures of a handsome smiling boy on photos posted by friends of friends on Facebook and Instagram.

But even after graduation, Doyoung continued to hear Jaehyun’s name spoken on the lips of his friends and their mutual friends.  _ You know Jaehyun? _ they would ask.  _ I can’t believe you haven’t met Jaehyun yet. Jaehyun is great! Everyone loves Jaehyun. _

Doyoung had fully anticipated never meeting the guy. After all, there’s many people that he’s heard of but never planned on crossing paths with. Everyone in the world is just one or two mutual friends away from knowing each other but Doyoung is not a social creature who ever prioritizes the opportunity to meet new people unless absolutely necessary.

But as it turns out, Johnny knew Jaehyun. Not only that, but he was  _ best friends _ with him as well.

“What?” Johnny had said, an incredulous look on his face. “You’ve never met Jaehyun? That’s impossible! Everyone has met Jaehyun.”

“Well, that’s clearly not true,” Doyoung laughed, swirling the glass of wine that Taeyong just poured for him before scuttling off to the kitchen. Yes, Jaehyun is probably a very popular guy but it’s impossible for him to know everyone in this city. Why were people always so surprised when Doyoung pointed out that he’s never even spoken to Jaehyun?

“Tell you what,” Johnny said, putting down his fork with a definitive  _ clink.  _ “Let’s go to karaoke next week. I’ll invite Jaehyun, I know he’s free, and you can finally meet the guy I name-drop in all my crazy stories.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Doyoung stammered. “Are you sure it won’t be awkward?”

“Not at all! You’ll love him! He’ll love Jaehyun, won’t he?” Johnny said, calling out to Taeyong, who was hunched by the oven fretting over his homemade lasagna.

“Yes!” Taeyong called back. “Jaehyun is great! Doyoung will love him!”

“Then it’s settled,” Johnny grinned. “Trust me. This is such a good idea.”

In retrospect, Doyoung realizes now that Johnny’s statement was wholly untrue.

Slowly, as the group shuffles inside, he watches with growing horror as his friends naturally pair themselves off. Taeyong links arms tightly with Johnny, followed by Kun and Ten who had never even let go of each other’s hands in the first place. Doyoung looks at his own lonely self, and then at Jaehyun, who Taeyong had kept mentioning was  _ single.  _ Suddenly, Ten’s smugness makes sense.

“After you,” Jaehyun says, gesturing kindly for Doyoung to escape the cold first.

“Thanks,” he replied, trying very hard to ignore the deep dimples on Jaehyun’s face.

This is bad. Well, it’s not  _ terrible,  _ but it’s so fucking cliche. Really? He and Jaehyun are the only single people in this group? Jaehyun, who happens to be very hot and apparently has the voice of an angel, if Johnny wasn’t exaggerating too much when trying to convince Doyoung that this entire thing was going to be  _ fun _ and  _ you won’t regret it.  _ Doyoung is probably going to regret this.

He would like to make it clear that he does not lament being single. They’ve got a lot of other single friends, so it’s not like he ever feels too lonely at dinners and parties when Taeyong and Johnny are stuck in their own little world, even though they’re sitting inside a public restaurant and the waitress is  _ clearly _ waiting to take their order…

It’s fine. He’s alright, okay? Being single is fine. He hangs out with a lot of single people. But those people weren’t Jaehyun, whose smile shines brighter than the moon and somehow has everyone convinced that he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He’s just a guy. A singular guy. Yet, Doyoung feels uneasy about all of this. Something is going to happen, he knows it. Maybe not something bad, but definitely not good either. He’s got a sixth sense about this kind of thing. A  _ feeling _ if you will.

“I hope you’re ready to sing,” Jaehyun grins as they settle into the booth. “Johnny says you have an amazing voice and I get really competitive about these kinds of things, you know?”

Doyoung smiles tightly and grits his teeth in response.

“Yes, I love to sing,” he says. “Would you like to be duet partners?”

This could not end well.

“I would love to,” Jaehyun smiles back.

This could not end well at all.

  
  
  
  


Soon after they started living together, Doyoung had come to the unfortunate conclusion that Jaehyun is indeed flawed. And not only is he just flawed, but he is flawed in the most endearingly human ways possible.

It was extremely frustrating to realize that even in his imperfections, Jaehyun is still infuriatingly perfect. Yes, he wakes up with those disgusting eye crusties just like everyone else, but he also yawns sleepily against the soft morning light of dawn and Doyoung always melts at the sight. Jaehyun is not secretly terrible at doing the dishes, but he does forget to unload the dishwasher sometimes, gasping a soft  _ ah, I’m so sorry _ before scrambling to put mugs back in the cabinet before leaving for work.

There were other things, too. Like his inability to remember where he put down his phone and above all, his lack of patience. Sometimes it was cute, and sometimes it was lousy like this: Jaehyun, pounding on the door of Taeyong and Johnny’s bathroom, which Doyoung had smartly locked himself inside of when he realized that Jaehyun had followed him here in an attempt to explain himself.

“Let me in!” Jaehyun says. “I need to apologize!”

“No!” Doyoung cries. “Leave me alone! I’ll be home tonight. Or tomorrow. Or Monday. I don’t know!”

“Um, should we do something?” Johnny says, idly observing the scene in front of him. It’s pretty funny, but it’s also kind of sad seeing two grown men argue like children. Why is he best friends with Jaehyun again?

“Yeah, it’s been almost an hour,” Taeyong says, checking his watch. “I can handle it, don’t worry.”

He steps over to where Jaehyun is crouched by the bathroom, produces a key from his pocket, and unlocks the door.

“What did you just do?” Jaehyun asks, looking at the key in Taeyong’s hand. “Did you have that this entire time? Could you not have done that when I first got here?”

“No,” Taeyong smiles. “I wanted you guys to struggle for a bit. Don’t worry, it was entertaining for us. Right, honey?”

“Right,” Johnny says. “Doyoung, are you alright?”

Doyoung looks up, still sitting on the bathroom tile with his knees drawn to his chest.

“I guess I’m okay,” he replies.

“Great!” Taeyong says. “Now, the two of you— get out of my fucking apartment.”

Taeyong mercilessly kicks them out onto the street, Johnny smiling apologetically as he bids goodbye to his friends.

“Sorry!” he says, waving curtly before shutting the door.

After that, Doyoung doesn’t really know where to go. He just picks a direction and starts briskly walking.

“Wait!” Jaehyun says, scrambling to catch up. “Where are you going?”

“Somewhere far away from you!” Doyoung replies, trying to pick up the pace even more.

“Doyoung, please,” Jaehyun says, clamping a hand down on his shoulder. “I just want to talk. I want to apologize.”

Doyoung stops in his tracks, turning to look at Jaehyun with scorn.

“What are you even sorry for?” he hisses. “We’re just roommates, that’s all. It’s not like you’re obligated to tell me where you are. It’s fine, okay?”

“No!” Jaehyun says. “It’s not fine. I don’t think we’re just roommates.”

Doyoung’s breath catches in his throat, his brain processing Jaehyun’s words.

“Aren’t we?” he asks. “Aren’t we just roommates?”

Jaehyun looks at him silently, the moment prolonged in the autumn breeze.

“Is it weird?” he finally says. “What the two of us are doing?”

Ah. That’s a question Doyoung answered for himself a very long time ago.

“Yes,” he replies. “It’s very weird. Do you want to stop?

“No!” Jaehyun says, and his boldness startles Doyoung. “I don’t want to stop. But I’m just saying— what if it didn’t have to be weird? What if all of this was just...normal?”

Normal? There’s nothing normal about the relationship they share. It wasn’t normal back when they were dating and it isn’t normal now, when they are both trying and failing to be good roommates to each other. 

“What are you trying to say?” Doyoung sighs. “How could we possibly achieve that?”

“Look— have you eaten yet?”

Doyoung scoffs. “No. Taeyong was about to cook me breakfast when you rudely barged into my sanctuary.”

“Sorry about that,” Jaehyun apologizes sheepishly. “But would you like to go to that brunch place by the riverwalk? My treat— I’ve put you through a lot these past twenty-four hours.”

“That’s...where we had our first date,” Doyoung realizes. “When you asked me out, two years ago.”

“Well, I’m asking you out again,” Jaehyun smiles, a blush dusting across his face. “Are you going to say yes?”

Doyoung sighs again because honestly, the answer has already been decided for him. He is, after all, a simple, weak man. Especially for Jaehyun

“Yes,” he replies. “I am saying yes.”

  
  
  
  


It was Sicheng’s birthday party. Doyoung knew from the start that Jaehyun would be there, because Jaehyun and Sicheng have known each other longer than Doyoung knew either of them. They were quite good friends and unless Jaehyun had decided to move to a different country without telling anyone, it was a given that he would be there tonight.

“It’s fine,” Doyoung said when Taeyong asked him about it. “I’ll be fine.”

He truly believed it too. It’s been months since he and Jaehyun have spoken at all. He’s quite proud of himself for that, because Doyoung does not have the best history with choosing logic over emotions. But it’s fine now. He’s over it. He could definitely tolerate seeing Jaehyun in a room full of people, briefly saying hello before switching to conversation partners that were safer than his most recent ex-boyfriend.

The inevitable doesn’t happen until later that night, when it gets kind of stuffy with the drinks and loud music, and Doyoung takes refuge on Sicheng’s impressively sized balcony. He sits down on one of the flimsy lawn chairs, breath fogging up in the chilly November air as he looks out onto the city beneath him. It’s cathartically silent and a nice break from all the socializing going on inside. Doyoung thinks it’s nice to just breath for a moment.

The moment doesn’t last long, though, because the door soon swings open to allow a tipsy Jaehyun to stumble through. He puts his drink down on the ledge and fumbles in his pockets for a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up before taking a deep breath of smoke.

“You’re smoking again?” Doyoung says, and Jaehyun almost yelps in surprise.

“Were you there the whole time?” he asks, dramatically clutching a hand over his heart. “I did not see you at all.”

“Well, that’s reassuring,” Doyoung jokes. “Practically invisible, aren’t I?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Jaehyun says, his eyes softening. “And it’s not often. I just get the urge when I drink.”

“The urge to what?”

“To smoke,” Jaehyun explains. “I’m not doing it as much as I used to, I promise.”

Doyoung laughs, because even if Jaehyun did start smoking a terrible amount like he did way back last year, it’s not like any of it would be a concern to Doyoung. He’s not Jaehyun’s keeper or anything. They’re not boyfriends anymore. They’re barely even friends. 

“Would you like to sit?” he asks, gesturing to the lawn chair next to him. “It’s been awhile. How are you?”

“I’m alright,” Jaehyun says, settling down in the seat. “Could be better. You know about Jungwoo, right?”

“Jungwoo? Are you talking about his big promotion?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun laughs. “The one making him move across the country, despite not knowing anyone in that city.”

“He’ll be fine,” Doyoung says. “He’s Jungwoo, you know? Makes friends with everybody. What does that have to do with you, though?”

“Ah, well,” Jaehyun begins, tapping out the ashes from his cigarette over the edge of the balcony. “We were supposed to be roommates this year.”

Doyoung is stunned for a moment. That was something Jungwoo had clearly failed to disclose during their last brunch. He’ll have to grill him about it later.

“Supposed to be?” he asks. “Are you breaking the lease then? Since Jungwoo is, you know, moving away.”

“Jungwoo broke the lease, but I’m still on it,” Jaehyun explains. “I need to find someone to fill his spot or else I’ll be stuck paying twice the rent. He’s been trying to help me out, but everyone we know is either living with their boyfriend or girlfriend or the timing just isn’t working out...”

He sighs, the pitiful sound lost in the wind as he brings the cigarette back to his lips for another drag. Doyoung watches the smoke blow out of his mouth, screaming at himself for what he is thinking. For what he is about to say. Why is he even saying it at all? The answer is easy. He is a simple, weak man.

“Jaehyun,” he says. “My lease expires next month. I’ve been looking at places.”

Jaehyun makes a noise of surprise, scrunching his brow as he slowly interprets Doyoung’s statement.

“Doyoung,” he says. “Does this mean that...”

“Yeah,” Doyoung replies. “We could be roommates.”

  
  
  
  


“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Jaehyun says, clearly holding in a bout of laughter.

Over the years, Doyoung has learned to take things at face value. He works hard to acknowledge and accept everything that he is given. But sometimes, he can’t help but feel that life is just playing a huge joke on him.

“Look at it!” Doyoung nearly shouts. “For almost a whole year, we’ve been avoiding that window, tiptoeing around and trying to avoid eye contact with… _THIS?”_

He gestures rudely to the items in front of them: two statues, both carved from marble, one of them dressed in red and the other looking absolutely ridiculous in a striped sweater. Their stony faces stare toward the outside, gazes traveling to the window of the apartment right across the street. The window to Doyoung and Jaehyun’s living room.

“This whole time,” Doyoung continues. “We thought we were being watched, fucking  _ observed,  _ when it was really just…” he trails off, like he can’t even bear to say it, “two fucking statues?”

“I don’t get what the big deal is,” Jaehyun says, peering around the pieces like he’s actually interested in them. “This is a good thing, right? We weren’t really being watched?”

“No!” Doyoung roars. “This is even worse! This means that this entire time, we were trying to avoid two inanimate objects! And they look so stupid too— god, why are they dressed like this?”

“Because they represent the integration of new age culture and fashion with the old world tradition that society still places on a high pedestal, combining both elements for an unsettling representation of how our modern world survives today,” Jaehyun recites, reading straight off the plaque. “Pretty cool stuff, isn’t it? I guess we just had to look a bit closer, but I don’t think any of it matters now.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Doyoung snorts. “I think we’re done here. I would like to return home now.”

“Alright,” Jaehyun laughs, offering his hand out to Doyoung. “Let’s go home. You wanna watch a movie?”

“And sit through another two hours of B-rated horror?” Doyoung snipes, reluctantly taking his hand out of his coat pocket for Jaehyun. “I would rather jump out the window.”

Jaehyun grins as he laces their fingers together. “I know you don’t mean that. Come on, let’s go.”

He leads them to the exit, down the stairs, and onto the sidewalk. Jaehyun holds him tighter then, the spaces between their hands growing even smaller.

“Why did you stop?” Doyoung whines. “Our apartment is literally right across the street. It’s  _ cold.” _

Jaehyun crinkles his brow, seemingly deep in thought.

“You said we’ve been avoiding the window for almost a year,” he says. “It really has been almost a year, hasn’t it?”

Oh. Doyoung thinks he knows where this is headed.

“Yes,” he confirms, breath quickening. “It’s been almost a year.”

“Which means that our lease is almost up.”

“Our lease is almost up,” Doyoung parrots. “Um, yes— that is correct.”

“Doyoung, would you like to—”

“No!” Doyoung shrieks, shoving a hand over Jaehyun’s mouth. “You are not asking me this in the middle of the street! Don’t you dare!”

“Mmmf—” Jaehyun struggles, yanking Doyoung’s hand off his face. “Doyoung, would you just please—  _ Doyoung!  _ Will you move in with me?”

For a moment, it’s quiet. For a moment, just a  _ moment,  _ the universe consists only of Doyoung, Jaehyun, and the singular question that Doyoung’s asked himself already countless times. There are no people on the sidewalk, no cars on the street, and no conversation in the world except for the one going on between them right now.

But then that moment is over and Doyoung snaps back into reality.

“You  _ idiot,  _ he moans. “We already live together! Why would you ask me that?”

“Because!” Jaehyun defends. “It sounded a lot better than  _ do you want to resign our lease?” _

“Well, you should’ve just asked me that instead!”

“Then I’m asking now! Do you want to resign our lease?”

Doyoung doesn’t even take a second to think of his answer.

“Yes,” he says. “Of course I do. You’re the only one who lets me choose the movie.”

“Is that the only reason?” Jaehyun snorts, but a grin plays onto his face anyways.

“Yes,” Doyoung insists. “That is literally the only reason.”

“Alright,” Jaehyun says, tugging Doyoung’s hand with his. “Now that  _ that’s _ settled, we can go home.”

“Okay,” Doyoung agrees. “Let’s go home.”

He smiles uncontrollably the entire way back.

**Author's Note:**

> this was just something super indulgent that allowed me to combine all of my favorite tropes. the stuff about the statues is real - my roommate and i are certainly not involved in any way but we _have_ both been scared shitless by the statues across the street that we originally thought were real people. stay safe guys 😩 and as always, thanks for reading until the end 💚💚💚


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